In many countries around the world February is known as the “Month of Love”. I think that it is a beautiful idea to have a specific time dedicated to celebrate love, never the less I also think that we should do this daily, starting with ourselves.

Self-love. What does it mean?

One translation from Google puts it as follows: Self–love is a state of appreciation for oneself that grows from actions that support our physical, psychological and spiritual growth.

When I say the word self-love, how does it make you feel? What is the first thing that comes to your mind?

Synonyms I think of immediately when I hear the word is something like selfish. I almost feel an uneasiness, a type of resistance, because I learned from childhood that I should always put others before myself. Isn’t that what a good person does? Isn’t that what a women is supposed to do?

Today I want to challenge you to stare for a long time in the eyes of the word self-love. Don’t look away until you can look at it with softer eyes that really understand.

In English self-love is a beautiful word with so much meaning and is a very current topic in the world of wellness these days.   Of course, we all agree full heartily with this wonderful movement because doesn’t it mean visits to the spa, time alone with a cup of tea and a book, the coffee shop with friends, a loooong bath with bubbles and candles?

It just sounds so delightful but still somewhere in the back of my mind I hear the same little voice “You must always put others before yourself” So it happens that I make a decision to indeed do one of these things when I finally get time for it.

But, is this truly self-love? Here I am not talking about the few stolen hours that I put aside to indulge in something I like. I mean are these things that I do, self-love?

It definitely is a part of self-love but this is more treating yourself than loving yourself.

For me, the definition of self-love is taking responsibility toward myself. This means that I take responsibility for my life, for all the areas of my life and to be open to learn and grow where I’m not yet doing it or where I don’t yet see that I’m not doing it.

  • Responsibility for my health – not to follow others or ideas like a sheep,
  • Responsibility for my emotions – not to blame and complain,
  • Responsibility for my relationships – not to have expectations of which others are not aware,
  • Responsibility for the boundaries that I have – not to be the victim,
  • Responsibility for how I handle my money,
  • Responsibility for what job I do and how I do it, responsibility for my attitude, responsibility for what I think and say, responsibility for my growth and development.

Self-love is equal to responsibility because when you take responsibility for your own life, things don’t just happen to you. You have choices that you can make that will work for you. And when things happen to you that are out of your control, which is often the case in life, you still have the responsibility to decide how you feel about it, how you will respond to it and what you are going to do about it.

Taking responsibility for your life gives you calmness, peace, joy, freedom, and this is love. Love that you first have for yourself and that you can share in abundance with others like an ever flowing fountain. Naturally you can then spoil yourself too because you take responsibility to make time for yourself where you get refreshed and renewed.

Health, what does love have to do with it? EVERYTHING!

Challenge:  
Ask yourself if you are taking responsibility for your health and also answer yourself honestly.
– Do you find out for yourself about what is good for you to eat and do to be healthier?
– Are you looking after your health now in a way that will permit you to live with vitality later in
your life?
– Do you follow the ideas of others or the newest “fix it all now” solutions like a sheep or do you
ask questions that will bring insight to you and give you more awareness of what will really work
for you?  

It is never too late to begin. I will remind you over and over again how wonderfully supportive your body is to make and keep you healthy
– and the best news of all is that your body is YOUR responsibility. Take it!